When Obama came to the bookies

So the show is finally over and the mountains of rubbish can be cleared away. A cities population will go back to normal and 95% of the world can go back to completely ignoring anything slightly political again. For those who didn’t watch or take note of the Obama inauguration last week then ‘shame on you!’ is what I should say but im fairer then that. Will this become one of those ‘where were you when this happened’ moments like with JFK, the Moon landings, Kurt Cobains suicide or 9/11. The answer is probably yes and from my perch at Ladbrokes I watched intensely, hanging on every word that was printed on the screen by subtitles page 888.

For those of you that don’t know, I work in a bookies, and those that do know will be well aware that many times before I have said that the general IQ of a regular customer is below that of a retarded moth who has a glue sniffing addiction. I’m quite sure that their ability to write was taught purely by writing out betting slips and that any other form of English is completely alien to their wrist. So as I sat watching the events in America unfold, the line of customers wanting to comment about the new TV program grew longer and longer.

‘He’s no different to the others, there all the fucking same the presidents are’ - plainly bollocks.

‘is he black?’ - I kid you not.

‘why is there more black then white people in the crowd’ – retard.

and finally ‘what are the odds that he gets assassinated in the next 6 weeks? said two people, including a middle aged normal looking white women who I have never seen before? This lady actually took offence to my reply of raucous laughter followed by ‘are you fucking serious?!?’

‘why not, there’s no reason why you can’t bet on that!’ came her offended reply.

‘There is my mentally deficient friend and im not going to bother explaining it for you, cos every time you open your mouth, I lose a part of my soul to your drivel’

Then I stood up, my arms reached out whilst overseeing the mass of humanity who came from afar to sit before me, hanging on every word I said.

‘This man will lead us into a new age, him becoming president means that every parent of every colour and race can look upon their child and tell them that they can be whatever they want to be, safe in the knowledge that they can’.

But as Obama waved to a nation who roared with approval and delight, I turned to my followers, who sat there, farting and looking for their final 12p to bet with.

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Cheerio

Selby